My 5-Step Conversation Method to Deliver Feedback

Are you avoiding a conversation because you believe your voice doesn’t matter?

So instead, you sweep your concerns under the rug?

You’re not alone.

Here’s the impact: When you don’t speak up, your concerns are not heard.

OK … it’s time for a story!

This week, I want to introduce you to Charlie, a director who was well-respected by senior leadership, but had a bad reputation with their peers.

I was getting ready to go out on maternity leave, and a well-respected VP who I had the opportunity to support and work shoulder-to-shoulder with was leaving the organization.

I was SUPER pregnant at the time, so I acknowledge up front that my hormones were def. heightened.

There was talk about promoting Charlie…

a high-potential director to backfill this VP. Charlie was a leader who didn’t have a good rep amongst their peers (the individuals that would be now reporting to this leader if promoted) but, surprisingly, senior leadership thought the world of them.

I was invited to Charlie’s interview day because I was being groomed for my next role.

I share this important fact because I wrestled with:

• Making sure I presented myself well (you know good impressions matter during the grooming stages).
• The imposter syndrome that I didn’t officially earn the seat at the table to voice the unpopular opinion.

As each senior leader recapped the interview feedback, with all positive accolades, I had this moment of, “Do I really want to be the ONLY person who doesn’t say what others in the room are already really thinking?”

Here’s what I settled with: I didn’t have the title yet – but I earned a seat in the room the second I was invited.

And guess what – I was the ONLY no that day.

Needless to say, he was promoted despite my feedback.

But I didn’t let that bother me. I was proud of myself for sharing my concerns, and I also shared my concerns with an intentional framework so that I could leave the team with a specific request (or recommend) if the leader was promoted.

The ask: If this leader were to be promoted, I asked that we consider moving their 360-day review to 6 months vs. waiting the traditional 12 months to ensure we leave room for this leader to improve any potential shortcomings.

The team agreed.

Charlie didn’t make it a full year before he resigned from this new role as VP.

But you may be thinking how I mustered the courage to say the unpopular thing.

When I went into that room, I made sure I remembered to SALSA:

S – SELF CHECK: Slow down and make sure you understand the desired outcome of this conversation.

A – ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR INTENT: When you initiate the conversation, acknowledge your intent from the beginning. Make sure the person you’re talking to understands why you’re having the conversation.

L – LISTEN: Take time to hear what the other person has to say.

S – SHARE THE IMPACT: With your goal in mind, share the reasons behind the conversation. Use I-statements, not You-statements. Examples: “I feel frustrated when you don’t complete your paperwork.” “I want to help you through these challenges.”

A – ASK: Create clarity with your goal and set parameters for achievement. It is important to have some form of buy-in at the end of the conversation.

By remembering SALSA for each of your difficult conversations, you can be a more effective leader and a better contributor to your team.

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